The Truth About Canadian Tire Money—Is It Actually Government-Issued Crypto?

📝 By Lenny Loonie – Toronto, Ontario

CANADA – For decades, Canadians have stuffed their wallets, junk drawers, glove boxes, and winter coat pockets with the iconic pastel bills known as Canadian Tire Money. But a new theory gaining momentum online asks the big question: What if it’s not just store credit? What if it’s… government-issued crypto?

The theory began on an episode of the conspiracy podcast “Maple Unfiltered,” where host Gord “The Beaverman” Lacroix declared:

“What if I told you the Bank of Canada has been running a secret pilot program since 1958? And it’s not Bitcoin—it’s BrakePadCoin™.”

Since then, #TireCoin has been trending on Canadian social media platforms, with users questioning whether their stacks of crumpled 5-cent bills are, in fact, the original decentralized currency.

“My uncle’s had $47 in Canadian Tire Money taped to the fridge since the ’90s,” said one Reddit user. “Guess who’s suddenly rich in BrakePadCoin.”

What Is Canadian Tire Money, Really?

Originally launched in 1958 as a loyalty program, Canadian Tire ‘Money’ was once handed out like candy every time you bought motor oil, hockey tape, or a questionable patio set.

But unlike regular loyalty points, it came in actual printed banknote form, complete with a suspiciously friendly mascot named Sandy McTire who, many believe, is just a bearded deep-state economist in disguise.

Today, Canadian Tire Money exists digitally—but that hasn’t stopped Canadians from hoarding old bills in the belief that they’re secretly inflation-proof.

Why People Think It’s Crypto

Crypto-analysts (mostly guys with too many monitors) claim Canadian Tire Money checks all the boxes for government-issued digital currency:

🪙 Decentralized circulation – Found in every part of the country, including under your car seat.
🪙 Widely accepted – At Canadian Tire, and occasionally by very confused garage sales.
🪙 Untraceable – Nobody knows how much is in circulation, or why.
🪙 Backed by real value – Allegedly redeemable for wiper blades.

“It’s not just a currency,” said TireCoin enthusiast @CryptoHosers. “It’s the only form of money that can survive the apocalypse. You can’t fix a snowblower with Ethereum.”

Official Response: Hilariously Vague

When asked directly, Canadian Tire Corporation released a cryptic statement:

“Canadian Tire Money remains a cherished symbol of customer loyalty. We decline to comment on its potential as an alternative financial instrument, government-backed reserve asset, or digital currency framework.”

Translation? They’re hiding something.

Even the Bank of Canada weighed in—briefly—stating:

“We are aware of ongoing speculation regarding Canadian Tire Money. We neither confirm nor deny its strategic reserve status.”

Neither confirm nor deny. That’s literally conspiracy fuel.

What the Experts Say

Economists are split.

📉 Dr. Elise Morin, University of Ottawa: “It’s paper monopoly money with a moose on it. Calm down.”
📈 Dr. Frank Hillier, Freelance Economist (and former cashier): “It has more real-world value than Dogecoin.”
📊 The Department of Finance is reportedly monitoring the situation from a shed behind Rideau Hall.

Meanwhile, online forums are buzzing with questions like:

• “How do I transfer TireMoney to cold storage?”
• “Can I mine CTM using a snowblower?”
• “Is Sandy McTire actually the head of the Bank of Canada?”

Should You Invest in TireCoin?

Financial advisors say:
💸 Definitely not.
💸 But also maybe?
💸 Look, it’s Canada. We once used beaver pelts as currency. Nothing is off the table.

At press time, several Canadian Tire locations reported people trying to cash in their bills “before the market crashes.” One man attempted to buy a lawn tractor using $387 in creased Tire Money and a Tim Hortons gift card.Store employees were reportedly “annoyed but not surprised.”