🚨 Disclaimer: The Maple Curtain is a satirical publication—nothing here is real, including our so-called journalists. Take it easy, eh? 🍁
🚨 Disclaimer: The Maple Curtain is a satirical publication—nothing here is real, including our so-called journalists. Take it easy, eh? 🍁
The Calgary Stampede Horses accidentally won the Grey Cup—and didn’t realize it until the parade. The CFL confirmed the mix-up, calling it “classic Canadian football.”
A Canadian beer league has introduced VAR to review offside calls—using GoPros, bar TVs, and hot wings. It hasn’t changed any calls yet, but beer sales are way up.
A Northern Ontario curling team accidentally qualified for Nationals after stumbling through a local tournament. Their strategy? Vibes, beer, and blind luck.
CFL fans are furious over a rule change to the rouge—despite not knowing how it worked in the first place. The internet meltdown has begun, and angry fans are now threatening to "never watch again" (until next week).
Beer league veteran Ryan "Rhino" McAllister announced his retirement at age 42—only to realize nobody noticed. With no press conference, no media coverage, and no sendoff, McAllister is left wondering if he actually retired at all. Read the full story here.
The CFL has finally attempted to explain its playoff system, and fans are more confused than ever. If you thought you understood it, think again.
The Leafs have launched the ‘Early Exit’ Ticket Package™ to help fans prepare for another playoff heartbreak. Includes discounts on therapy, commemorative t-shirts, and a personalized ‘We’ll Get ‘Em Next Year’ message from Mitch Marner.
By Randy Slapchuk – Flin Flon, Manitoba TORONTO – It’s that time of year again, folks. The Toronto Maple Leafs have unveiled their latest Five-Year Plan™, a bold new strategy in which they actually plan on making it past Round…
