🚨 Disclaimer: The Maple Curtain is a satirical publication—nothing here is real, including our so-called journalists. Take it easy, eh? 🍁
🚨 Disclaimer: The Maple Curtain is a satirical publication—nothing here is real, including our so-called journalists. Take it easy, eh? 🍁
Netflix Canada has removed its entire comedy section and replaced it with only Corner Gas. Officials say it reflects what Canadians were watching anyway.
Canadian banks have introduced a new $5 fee to check why your account is empty—proving once again that being broke in Canada comes with a surcharge.
A Canadian beer league has introduced VAR to review offside calls—using GoPros, bar TVs, and hot wings. It hasn’t changed any calls yet, but beer sales are way up.
Canada is tearing down Parliament Hill and replacing it with an Ikea. The new governance model includes flat-pack legislation, open-concept committee rooms, and Swedish meatballs at Question Period.
In its latest budget, the federal government forgot Saskatchewan entirely—no projects, no funding, not even a mention. Officials call it an “oversight,” but prairie Canadians call it typical.
A Northern Ontario curling team accidentally qualified for Nationals after stumbling through a local tournament. Their strategy? Vibes, beer, and blind luck.
Netflix Canada has officially removed its last remaining Canadian-made show, declaring "Good riddance." With CanCon wiped from the platform, confused Canadians are left searching for reruns of Schitt’s Creek and Degrassi elsewhere.
The Buy Low, Sell Never strategy is taking over as millennials cling to their investments, unable to sell in an economy where cashing out just means losing money faster. Experts call it a financial strategy. Millennials call it survival.
CFL fans are furious over a rule change to the rouge—despite not knowing how it worked in the first place. The internet meltdown has begun, and angry fans are now threatening to "never watch again" (until next week).
Did the Leafs actually win the Stanley Cup in 1967, or is it just an elaborate hockey myth? With no living memory, no HD footage, and mounting conspiracy theories, historians are starting to doubt whether it ever really happened.
