Canadian Tire: You Sell Everything But What I Actually Need

📝 By Linda Furiously – Winnipeg, Manitoba

A Store That Has Everything… Except the One Thing I Came For

There is no store more mystifying, frustrating, and needlessly complex than Canadian Tire.

This is a place that sells tires, garden gnomes, hockey sticks, propane tanks, scented candles, fishing rods, space heaters, seasonal patio furniture, camping gear, and deep fryers—but somehow, NEVER the exact item I came in to buy.

“Oh, we don’t carry that in-store, but you can order it online.”

I AM STANDING INSIDE YOUR STORE RIGHT NOW.

Why Is It Like This?

Canadian Tire is supposed to be Canada’s go-to destination for all things practical. Instead, it operates on some kind of alternate dimension logic, where the shelves are stocked by a team of cryptids who only restock at random.

Need a canoe paddle in December? No problem.
Need a snow shovel in February? Sorry, we won’t have those until July.

You could go in looking for a simple wrench set and instead leave with:

🔹 A chainsaw you didn’t need, but it was on sale.
🔹 A tub of windshield washer fluid because you “might as well.”
🔹 Three mystery items from the discount bin because you felt bad leaving empty-handed.

And let’s not even talk about the coupon situation. I once tried to use a “Save 15% on All Tools” coupon, only to be told that the wrench set I picked up “technically falls under automotive, not tools.”

WHAT DO YOU MEAN? IT IS A TOOL.

The Labyrinth That Is a Canadian Tire Aisle

Navigating Canadian Tire is a test of patience and endurance.

🏃 You think you know where something should be? You’re wrong.
🏃 You check the aisle signs? They’re vague and misleading.
🏃 You ask an employee? They sigh, check a giant binder from 1986, and still don’t know.

Canadian Tire aisles are designed like an escape room—except instead of a puzzle leading to victory, it leads to you giving up and buying something else.

Looking for a bike tire? You’ll find it in:
❌ The automotive section (but only for cars).
❌ The sporting goods section (but only for full bikes, not parts).
❌ The clearance section (but it’s the wrong size).
✔️ The aisle with BBQ grills, pet food, and WD-40. (For some reason.)

And if you ask an employee for help, they will wander the aisles with you in mutual confusion, before finally saying:

“If it’s not on the shelf, we must be out of stock.”

NO KIDDING.

The Stock Situation: “We Have It, But We Don’t”

Have you ever checked the Canadian Tire website before heading to the store? Big mistake.

The site will confidently tell you that your local store has six units in stock.

You drive there, search the aisle, find nothing. You ask an employee. They check the system.

“Huh, it says we have six in stock… but we can’t find them.”

WHERE DID THEY GO? ARE THEY IN WITNESS PROTECTION?

And why does every store in Canada have ONE of the thing I need—except for the one I’m standing in?

The Canadian Tire Money Scam

Canadian Tire is the only store that still pays you in Monopoly money.

Yes, Canadian Tire Money™—the least valuable form of currency in the country, after Leafs playoff tickets.

I’ve been collecting Canadian Tire Money for years. I have a drawer full of these useless little bills, adding up to maybe $7.32.

I tried to use them once.

“Oh, sorry, we only accept Canadian Tire Money on in-store purchases over $20, but not on sale items, clearance items, or anything with a warranty.”

EXCUSE ME? WHAT CAN I EVEN BUY WITH IT?

“Uh… you can put it toward a can of WD-40.”

At this point, I’m starting to believe that Canadian Tire Money is actually a long-term psychological experiment.

Conclusion: I’ll Be Back, But I’m Not Happy About It

Despite all of this, I’ll still keep going to Canadian Tire. Because where else can you buy a kayak, a toaster, and a propane tank in one trip?

And I know, deep down, that one day, I’ll finally find the item I need.

It just won’t be today.

Or tomorrow.

Or in the right aisle.