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New Quebec Law Requires All Movies to Include at Least One Poutine Scene
Quebec has officially passed a law requiring all movies filmed in the province to feature at least one poutine scene. From horror to romance, every genre must now embrace gravy.
By Juno Moose – Montreal, Quebec
QUEBEC CITY – In a move aimed at “protecting and promoting Quebec culture,” the provincial government has passed legislation requiring every movie filmed in Quebec to feature at least one scene involving poutine.
“Our culture is rich, beautiful, and drenched in gravy,” declared Premier François Legault at a press conference, where he proudly posed next to a gold-plated poutine fork, now a national symbol. “Hollywood has ignored our traditions for too long. From now on, if you want to shoot a movie in Quebec, you better be ready to smother it in cheese curds.”
The new law, officially called the “Cinematic Culinary Representation Act,” applies to all films, regardless of genre.
🎬 Romance? The lovers must share a bowl of poutine before the final kiss.
🎬 Horror? The villain must be revealed while dramatically eating fries covered in gravy.
🎬 Sci-Fi? The future of Quebec must include floating poutine food trucks.
🎬 Documentary? The director must include at least one slow-motion gravy pour for artistic integrity.
Filmmakers React to the New Law
The reaction from Hollywood and indie filmmakers has been immediate and confused.
🗣️ “Wait, what?” – Martin Scorsese, Probably
🗣️ “Can I just add a plate of poutine in the background?” – Anxious Indie Filmmaker
🗣️ “This is the most important thing to happen to cinema since sound.” – Hardcore Quebecois Cinephile
While some directors are scrambling to add last-minute poutine scenes into their films, others are embracing the challenge.
Director Denis Villeneuve has already confirmed that the next “Dune” sequel will feature Paul Atreides eating poutine in the Arrakis desert, proving that even in a dystopian future, Quebec culture survives.
Meanwhile, Marvel Studios has reportedly reshot scenes for an upcoming blockbuster to ensure that Captain America at least tries poutine while visiting Montreal.
How Will This Affect Quebec’s Film Industry?
Government officials insist the law will benefit the province, encouraging more authentic Quebec representation in film.
📽️ Tax credits will be offered to productions that feature authentic cheese curds from local Quebec dairies.
📽️ Films shot in Ontario attempting to pass as “Quebec” will now be fined.
📽️ The Cannes Film Festival will now require all Quebec films to feature at least one dramatic gravy slow-motion shot.
“Quebec is more than just a backdrop for films,” said Minister of Culture Jean Tremblay. “We are a way of life. And that way of life involves fries, gravy, and cheese curds. Hollywood needs to accept that.”
The Rules: What Counts as an “Authentic” Poutine Scene?
To ensure filmmakers comply, the Quebec government has outlined strict guidelines:
✔️ Fries must be hand-cut. (Frozen fries? Illegal.)
✔️ Cheese curds must be squeaky. (A poutine without the “squeak” is punishable by a heavy fine.)
✔️ Gravy must be poured on camera. (Pre-gravied poutines do not count.)
✔️ Characters must acknowledge that poutine is “life-changing.” (Bonus points if a character cries while eating it.)
Failure to follow these cultural accuracy guidelines will result in a fine of up to $10,000 or, in extreme cases, being forced to explain to a room full of Quebecers why you think poutine is “just okay.”
Upcoming Films Already Complying with the Law
To avoid legal trouble, major studios are already editing Quebec-friendly poutine scenes into their films.
🎞️ “Fast & Furious: Poutine Drift” – Vin Diesel drag races while balancing a large poutine on his dashboard.
🎞️ “Mission Impossible: Fromage Edition” – Tom Cruise must steal the perfect cheese curd before the gravy thickens.
🎞️ “The Batman: La Poutine Noire” – Bruce Wayne eats poutine in the Batcave. Alfred disapproves.
🎞️ “Titanic 2: L’Iceberg au Fromage” – Jack wouldn’t have died if he had shared a warm poutine with Rose.
(Note: “Titanic 2” does not exist, but if it did, the Quebec government insists it must feature a poutine scene.)
Will Other Provinces Follow?
With Quebec leading the charge, some provinces are considering their own culinary cinema laws:
🍁 Ontario: Tim Hortons must appear in every film.
🍁 Saskatchewan: Every action movie must include a scene where a car gets stuck in a snowbank.
🍁 Newfoundland: All dialogue must include at least one confused mainlander trying to understand a local accent.
So far, no other province has committed to forcing food into films, but Alberta has hinted at a “mandatory beef scene” initiative.
