🚨 Disclaimer: The Maple Curtain is a satirical publication—nothing here is real, including our so-called journalists. Take it easy, eh? 🍁
🚨 Disclaimer: The Maple Curtain is a satirical publication—nothing here is real, including our so-called journalists. Take it easy, eh? 🍁
Meteorologists say Canada’s latest blizzard will last until at least maple syrup season. Canadians, predictably, don’t care.
Canada is tearing down Parliament Hill and replacing it with an Ikea. The new governance model includes flat-pack legislation, open-concept committee rooms, and Swedish meatballs at Question Period.
On this day in history, Quebec almost left Canada—but legend says a sugar shack full of syrup and snacks distracted them long enough to forget.
In its latest budget, the federal government forgot Saskatchewan entirely—no projects, no funding, not even a mention. Officials call it an “oversight,” but prairie Canadians call it typical.
A Northern Ontario curling team accidentally qualified for Nationals after stumbling through a local tournament. Their strategy? Vibes, beer, and blind luck.
Is Canadian Tire Money actually secret government-issued crypto? A growing number of Canadians say yes—and they're calling it TireCoin.
Netflix Canada has officially removed its last remaining Canadian-made show, declaring "Good riddance." With CanCon wiped from the platform, confused Canadians are left searching for reruns of Schitt’s Creek and Degrassi elsewhere.
The Buy Low, Sell Never strategy is taking over as millennials cling to their investments, unable to sell in an economy where cashing out just means losing money faster. Experts call it a financial strategy. Millennials call it survival.
CFL fans are furious over a rule change to the rouge—despite not knowing how it worked in the first place. The internet meltdown has begun, and angry fans are now threatening to "never watch again" (until next week).
Did the Leafs actually win the Stanley Cup in 1967, or is it just an elaborate hockey myth? With no living memory, no HD footage, and mounting conspiracy theories, historians are starting to doubt whether it ever really happened.
